Lost

I am going to be so lost tonight. V is leaving to go with her bio-dad's parents for three nights. And J is still gone.

Watched a movie called Truly, Madly, Deeply. Boy that kicked my ass. It's about a woman who loses her husband...

V has been having a horrible time with J being gone. And this morning she is crying about both J and her bio-dad T. UGH! I think I need to take her to see someone to help sort this stuff out. I am sad for her.

Work is going better. Not fewer deaths but I am feeling like I am making a difference and that helps with the emotional aspect.

Off to help the dying.

J is hiking across Michigan today...

J left this morning to go and spend the week hiking across the state. Some would think that this is strange but he needs his outdoor time or else he gets grumpy. He took the puppy. Which leaves Madchen here- depressed. I think she knows he has gone hiking without her. V and I are trying to do fun things with her today.

Happy Father's Day to all of the Dad's. We made breakfast for J and gave him lots of treats. Now we are going to take some flowers out to Daddy Tad's tree.

The new addition is coming- slowly. We have to get a smaller tub now because of the existing door. Ugh! But it will still be nice.

Work is work. I actually feel like now I am starting to make a difference.

friends with real stuff

So I review several of my friends blogs as close to daily as I can. These people have amazing lives and are going through amazing situations. I sit back and wonder why the heck am I wasting web space. I have really nothing to write about. A few years ago- well that's a different story. But then I think that this is a good place for me to journal, keep in touch with those who want to know the trivial stuff that happens at my house daily and just because it fills some of my time. So I'm here blogging.

The puppy. Boy do I love this little dog. He sure is a pain in my ass as well. I always said that I would NEVER use a "vibration collar" on my dog. Well, I bought one yesterday. I am not using the "vibration" part yet just the noise and that seems to be helping- well, maybe. I just hate that I have become this person. I don't want to "vibrate" my dog but on the other hand I barely have a place in my house that has not been chewed on, pooped on, peed on, ripped up or just plain disheveled because of my sweet little Sipalla. And now with the construction out back the dogs don't have their normal place to go potty- which makes the house fair game. Especially with the latest bout of diarrhea. Ba Hum bug.

V and I have decided to go to the movie today. She wanted a friend to go but she is stuck with just me. She seems to be ok with this. Usually when I am gone I get the guilt trip but when I'm here I get trouble. Oh the woes of parenting.

Work- people still dying. I think my total for the last two weeks was 8. But I did get new people on my case load so I still have a job. Can't belive how many people have lung Cancer- especially the young ones. My latest young one is 42. Yes, 42. I told you my 38 year old died- so sad. But this is an honor to be a part of thier lives during this time. I keep telling myself that...

The surprise party was a success. Though not one of J's family could make it. I was pretty bummed but he loved it! The cake was a classic! KISS! I think he enjoyed his first birthday party.

Work is going well. Lost 4 last week. Gained 5. I seem to have all of the ones who are dying now. I guess it goes in cycles. Had a meeting with our supervisor today- she just shouldn't be a supervisor of Social Workers. She is a NURSE! Two very different jobs and two very different ways of looking at things. But with my co-worker at my side we move forward. I really enjoy her. She is silly and sassy- just how I like my friends.

V has had a great week. The pseudo love and logic technique I have developed may just be working. She is staying with my girlfriends on the days that J and I both work. A plus for all of us. I have been so lucky to have my girlfriends!!

Two months from today and I will be a married woman! And did I mention that after these two rounds of pills I will start taking prenatal vitamins. This scares me. Not sure this is what we should be doing. I mean- I know I want more I just couldn't deal with it if something were to happen. I just don't think I am ready for that. We'll see. We still have a few months of controlled eggs.

The weather is great! They put the footers in for our addition today! You mean they are actually doing something!!?? Can't wait to have a hot tub to sit in every night.

Peace out. By the way if I haven't mentioned it... V is obsessed with the PINK song "Mr. President"- you should check it out. She made a sign in the car the other day that said "Hate George Bush". Think I raised a Democrat/Green Party girl?! Thank goodness!!!