Random thoughts (really needing to just get stuff off of my chest....)

Tuesday, December 12, 2006

Yet another Hospice day...

Thank you if you sent thoughts to my patient. She died early this morning with her family present. I am thankful she was able to let go as she suffered a lot. The visuals, sounds and smells will resonate with me for quite some time I am sure. Now I just think about her family, especially her baby...

Today has been dulled by her death. I had this looming cloud over me most of the day. I guess accumulated grief plays a part in that as well. Often times in doing the work I do you have to just move on. This one is making me stop. Forcing me to put on my seat belt and just deal with her death. And with her death comes the deaths of all of the other patients I have neglected to grieve. This happens from time to time I understand. I wonder- am I getting to involved. But then I think, if I didn't connect at some level I would be horrible at what I do. There just needs to be a middle ground.

V's tooth is still loose. She lets me wiggle it but doesn't want it out bad enough yet. Off to bed. I need some sleep.


Anonymous ajw said...

Working Hospice will change your whole view on patient care, and maybe on how you view life.
I no longer work hospice (we moved to ann arbor, did josh tell you?) but my hospice training effects how I treat my patients every day. It sucks sometimes, but you truly make a huge difference.

Wednesday, December 13, 2006 4:28:00 PM  
Blogger Mel n Kai said...

Hello thatnks for passing by my blog, and your right having someone due so close is fun.... !!!

Thursday, December 14, 2006 5:08:00 AM  
Blogger Gretchen W said...

I suspect that you are so touched by this particular patient because A. you are a young mother yourself and B. you are empathizing with her husband or partner because you lost TTT, you know what it is like to be widowed with a tiny child.

This is such a sad story, but, I am sure you were exactly the person that family needed doing your job...

Hugs and big love,

Thursday, December 14, 2006 4:32:00 PM  

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