Random thoughts (really needing to just get stuff off of my chest....)

Monday, April 07, 2008

That stupid F****ng GRIEF BITCH!

My friend "A" and I call our grief leaks "THE GRIEF BITCH". (We decided yesterday that we need to write a book about her...) Anyway she hit me smack in the face yesterday. Not like a light slap. It was a cold hard punch- with metal knuckles... I went to a Memorial service of a family friend (okay, more than a family friend. I have known this man since I was 8. He was the closest thing to peace and love that I knew. He was also a Bishop and was known around the world. And I was lucky enough to share numerous years with him, Thanksgiving dinners and just love him.).

His service was nice. It was held in my "hometown" college chapel. Let me preface this by saying this is where Tad and I were married. The Bishop was at our wedding and actually did a blessing for us during the ceremony. The man who spoke at the service yesterday was the man who actually married Tad and me.

I had not been in that building since the wedding. I had to walk into the basement to go to the bathroom. WOW. It was exactly the way I remembered it. And to be honest I have not thought about that space since the wedding. I haven't given it much thought at all. All of those people there- some were there again to celebrate the Bishop's life.

And then, at the end of the service (like it hadn't been hard enough) low and behold I hear bagpipes begin to play. I turned to my mom and I said "Oh Jesus, you have to be kidding..." The tears flowed. See the town I grew up in was called "Scotland USA" and we always had a Scottish festival each year. Each time I hear bagpipes I am thrown back to being an excited little girl sitting on my front porch eating bagels and Ramen noodles with my friend AM. We would wait for the big weekend and then go to the parade. Bagpipes mean home for me. UGH.

I knew going to "hometown" that it would be tough. I didn't know how tough. I was only going to grieve the Bishop... then GRIEF BITCH brought Tad along. And to top it off I have not been back to said "hometown" since my parents moved. I drove past MY old house (someone had ripped all of my great grandmother's flowers out and replaced them with bushes! Ornamental bushes! Ugly!) and had the reminiscent drive by MY old neighborhood. MY neighbors weren't there- now they live in Chicago. There was a strange little boy playing in THEIR yard! This was such a cathartic trip for me. And sorry to "A" and my sister who got a brunt of it on the way home. Thank goodness for cell phones. But I still have a headache from yesterday's visit from the GRIEF BITCH. (Although it may be my sinus's- unclear on this one.)

Fooey on that GRIEF BITCH. I am glad that her visit is done.

I woke up this morning to the sound of my handsome (somewhat crippled) husband snoring and my babies babbles through the monitor. Although I hate snoring... today there was no better sound.

Thankful for a new week.


Anonymous Anonymous said...

Sorry you had such a hard day. I miss standing on the porch eating ramen noodles too. Those were the days. Remember when you tried to teach me how to cartwheel. I still can't do it, or how about when I wiped out on my ten speed in front of your house and Ron had to bandage me up. ha!ha! OMG I am laughing so hard. ha!ha!

Monday, April 07, 2008 12:04:00 PM  
Blogger LawMommy said...

Oh sweetie...

I read the top post before I read this one.

I'm so sorry.


Tuesday, April 08, 2008 12:44:00 PM  

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