Random thoughts (really needing to just get stuff off of my chest....)

Thursday, July 13, 2006

It's less than a month away!!

Don't know how that published itself a few times so sorry...

Anyway- here I am sitting thinking I am going to be married again in just a few short weeks. I will again be a wife. And I will a life partner/husband. The processing of this is all very unique and has actually been quite exhausting for me. I fear that I have even been a bit grumpy. It's just a lot to take in. It's serious life changing matter. Don't get me wrong- I am so excited about this. I am excited to spend the rest of my life (and we better have a long time together) with J. We both deserve to have a bit of happiness in life. Not that we haven't had plenty of smiles but we have both had some really tough ones as well. I just want to be done with crappy times and have happy joyful ones left. Working with dying people is surely an eye opener. What things in life are important. Now I just need to follow through with their wisdom and advice- mostly don't sweat the small stuff. I mean really who cares if J finished all the mustard and didn't put it on the list, tell me or go get some (you see I use this almost daily- it's a staple...).

So I am here- preparing for my life to take yet another turn in the road. It gives me diarrhea!! But a good and happy dose of diarrhea.

It's less than a month away!!

It's less than a month away!!

Thursday, July 06, 2006

5 years today...

It amazes me how fast/slowly this five years has gone. It has just past the "death minute" of my first husband. Funny how times and days can have an effect on me. And to think that I am actually doing wonderfully. I am making it. It's just hard to go through all of this year after year. And this year I have other things to process. I am getting married in less than a month. This is a great thing but still needs to be processed.

5 years ago today I was a mom, wife and new community member to my town. Today I am still a mom, future wife, and a somewhat seasoned resident of this community- with my MSW complete, working, moving my big butt, owning dogs (!!) and grieving this losses of so many of my family/friends.

But today I also know that I am lucky. I was given a chance to fall in love again. It is wonderful.

Today- just plain sucks though. Dates and time have too much power over me. I need to work on that.

Three cheers to T.TMT