Random thoughts (really needing to just get stuff off of my chest....)

Tuesday, February 28, 2006


Why is that a country such as ours (supposedly advanced in many facets) can't build a dishwasher or garbage disposal that lasts?! Or a T.V. for that matter. And yes, I know- I don't need these things. I have just become accustomed to having them. Now when your daughter puts a shot glass in the garbage disposal- it breaks. Don't ask why she had it. Ok- she brought J and me a shot of apple juice the other day. She thought the glasses were cute. Needless to say the glass is now sand again. But there are huge shards in the garbage disposal so now it won't work. Ba hum bug!

Off to visit with Aunt M and Mr. T today. That will be nice. Wish they lived closer to us. We really don't get to see them much and they are getting older.

Gatsby died yesterday. So sad. He is my late husbands parents cat. Bummer. He was a really great cat. We saw him this weekend and told them how bad he looked. They took him to the vet and he was in renal failure. Just like Sage.

My sister called and it looks like she is probably 6-8 weeks along. She has an ultrasound on Thursday. I am so excited!! I am going to have another niece/nephew!!

Sunday, February 26, 2006


So I got a call from my sister today. She's pregnant!! Unexpected but completely excited! I am so thrilled for them! I can't wait to be an Aunt again.

Motley Crew... I have to admit, I had a great time. It was so cool to watch J there. And boy were there lots of boobs- I could have done without that part. I have my own.

Off to watch RENT.

Friday, February 24, 2006

Motley Crew...

So tomorrow is J's big day. I am going with him and a few other friends to a Motley Crew concert. Yes- "SHOUT AT THE DEVIL". Strange how I love this boy so much- he walks around in Iron Maiden, Kiss and Slayer T-Shirts. I guess music isn't something we have to agree upon.

Today was busy. Monroe this am with a family-trying to asist them with Community Mental Health issues then off to court with C. She is my client that I have been working with. She was raped by her boss. Long story short- she settled for a plea bargain. Yes, this man is very wealthy and she is an hourly employee. Suck! He actually hired a PI to investigate her. So that bummed me out. And she was a mess.

Talked a lot with my parents and J last night about this whole non-profit thing. Come to find out they are worried about it too. The money and timing seem to be the major issues at this point. I'm just not sure I will be able to pull it off. And now I feel like an idiot. Having gotten myself along with all of these other people worked up and this may not even work... I definitely want to give it a try but I don't want to make myself feel like a failure if it doesn't go over. I wish I knew the outcome here. And the board I have is Kick Butt!! I really think it is a great group of people. I guess it's just a waiting game now.

Thursday, February 23, 2006

Quiet house

I wake up today to a quite house. Those of you who know me know that this is unusual. Dogs, cats and a 4 year old (and yes, JW in the background playing World of Warcraft) (P.S. I started playing last night... trying to connect on other levels. It wasn't all that bad. Hmm..) But today is a different quiet. Didn't sleep much after last night's class. (I'll come back to this.) Veda is officially 5. This brings about a lot of emotion. Always does for me. Yes, I am a sap. Remember I cried my eyes out at the dog movie. Just her getting older, remembering her birth, memories of her since she was a baby and memories of her bio dad dying. Now I feel like I'm in a good place with my grief here but dates like these always bring up his death. But each year it gets different. So I made 48 cupcakes last night. Of course V has more than 24 kids in her class so I had to use 2 boxes. Bummer.

Ok class... So our assignment was to write our problem statement and goals/objectives for our grant proposal. I did them but as a friend told me I need to "dumb them down." :) And my goals were way off as I was writing programming goals where I should have written development goals. Suck! But back to the drawing board. I will keep the goals I wrote for future reference (after they are refined) but I just want to be done with this grant so I can actually send one it that has pieces of this one in it! Is is possible to have 2 grants written by the end of March when you have NEVER written a grant before?? I'm having dinner with my professor next week to discuss more.

Off to wake up my 5 YEAR OLD KID!! And yes, I kissed my 4 year old toddler last night when I got home from school. I wonder if she'll be the same or if that magic birthday dust has already landed on her. Don't forget to sing her happy birth minute at 4:29pm today!!

Wednesday, February 22, 2006

I'm old. That's all there is to it...

So V is 5 tomorrow. It is hitting me that I no longer have toddler. I am the "mother" of a 5 year old. No longer "mommy" now I am just know as a "mother". Last night she told JW that she was putting herself to bed and did not want me to come up and kiss her when I got home. Come on! How can a mother resist kissing her child before bed. The only nights I haven't done this are nights that she is away from me- and on those nights I call her. I don't think I am ready to be a "mother". There is such a difference. I guess I just need to hurry up and get knocked up!

My mom and dad are coming tomorrow to celebrate V's big day. I am so glad I am going to see them. It has been so long since we have spent some time together. As an adult I have come to realize that I am the luckiest woman ever! I have great parents! They are always there for me (well, my dad doesn't always like to talk on the phone but if mom isn't home you can't shut him up. Just have to know when to call if you want to chat with him). And my sister is kick ass too! And I am lucky to have a brother in law that I like (most of my friends are not so lucky), a niece I adore and I am loving J's family more and more. It's nice to be surrounded by smart, creative, supportive and loving people. Basically- I love my family. But I can' t believe that I don't see them more than I do. We all only live 2 hours apart! It will be a lot easier when I am finished with school and J is not working every weekend I am off. Can't wait to spend time at Duck Lake.

And did I mention that I found this boy that I have fallen in love with. We are so silly in our relationship. Both of us have a cycle of grump- I think I have written about this before. It's nice when we both realize that it's just stupid to waste time being grumpy. I just need to remind myself of this more often.

Well, off to class. Only a few more weeks then I am finished!! Can't wait!! Can you believe that I am going to have my Masters Degree? Who would have thought. I remember the day I fought my dad about going to college. I wanted to stay home with my high school boyfriend. Good thing I got a hard push to go on. Otherwise I may be in a much different situation.


Tuesday, February 21, 2006

Dog pieces...

My dog Sipalla had his "pieces" removed yesterday. Poor boy- can I still call him a boy?? He is doing well- doesn't seem like it has even phased him; except for the vomit JW found on the floor this morning. I still have to steam clean that. YUCK!

JW and I had a good day yesterday with V. We went to see Eight Below. You must go see it!! My eye balls fall out. At the end of the movie JW looked at me with tear filled eyes and said "Are you ready to go home and snuggle our dogs?" We basically ran home and hugged them (we were careful not to pop Sipalla's stitches). The movie was so wonderful! But I must tell you, V had a really hard time. There are some scenes that are questionable. But you all know how I am with guarding kids from violence.. But some of this was just plain sadness.

Working on grant writing. I have one for class and one for the non-profit. AUGH! Overwhelming. I actually have decided to apply for jobs- just in case.

That's it- have to get back to work.

Sunday, February 19, 2006

The Tea Party was a success

So I only wish that I was smart enough to figure out how to post pictures here. The tea party was so fun!! All of the girls dressed up so cute and the hats were great!! Veda really enjoyed it and I think everyone else did as well.

The dilemma lies in this... I have always said that Veda would NEVER have a Barbie- well last year "Santa" brought them because that is all she asked for. But today we came home with a Barbie head. Yes, that's right, a Barbie head. No body, no legs, no heart, no arms- just a head. And I must say that she looks much different than I remember my sisters looking- well, before I got a hold of it. Sorry N. It already has eyelashes that are longer than my legs, lips that are like Angelina's and has the cheek bones that you could cut a steak with. So thank goodness that Veda got a karaoke machine from my niece, sister and brother- this has held her attention since the party. Do you think she will notice if she goes missing? And the funny thing is that my puppy is scared of her. He sat and barked at her in the kitchen because he was so enraptured by her beauty- ok he was scared shitless because it looks like my counter is growing heads. Maybe I will just set her aside for now. The shelter kids could really use this toy. :)

I miss J. I haven't seen him in what feels like weeks. I know- it's only been a few days. 12 hour shifts can sometimes be hard but boy is it nice to have him around 4 days a week (of course I am usually busy then).


So we have friends in this weekend! I love it. The house is crazy full of kids and snot and "can I have...". It's good to be connected with the ones I love. I just wish I could put you all in my neighborhood so I can have you all the time.

Haven't seen much of JW lately. He is back to work and in it full steam ahead. He will start in CCU in early March which he is excited about.

V is having her birthday party today. A tea party. My sister and niece are on there way here now!! : ) It should be fun. Party dresses and hats along with cake and ice cream. Can't get much better.

Well, my "Aunt" is in town and that sucks... My uterus feels like it is about to fall out (sorry for the graphics but you know me...).

I am almost finished with grad school! I think I only have 8 more classes total!! I can't wait. Then all I have to do is take an extremely difficult exam and work 2000 hours to become "licensed". I guess it's a good thing but come on- I just spent four years taking tests and writing papers. I think that should be license enough. But this will provide for better pay- supposedly.

Off to get the girls cleaned up.

Tuesday, February 14, 2006

Hallmark Holiday...

So for years I have thought that V-Day is just a Hallmark holiday (not to the extreme of Sweetest Day) but today was nice. Had some fun with V and J. Made a heart shaped pizza- didn't eat it but V and her sitter did! J and I went to my favorite place in A2. YUMMY!!

Had a meeting this am with some people regarding my non-profit. Things are going well. Felt really good about it today- knew that this is what I should be doing. I am going for it. Even if that lady today tried to basically talk me out of it- what does she know!! She was just a random woman that I happened to call to find out some info and she must be on her period.

V is having her birthday party this weekend. I am excited. Friends from PA will be here- the ones that had the rabbit (previous post.. their dogs ate Sunflower, the rabbit). They are bringing the new rabbit- freckles! It will be good to see them. And I think that my sister and niece may be coming! Yeah!

That's all for now. I am going to go an take in the flowers I got today. I love my boy...

Saturday, February 11, 2006

The room is finished!! well....

So yesterday the infamous room upstairs got finished! Now we just need to paint and re-carpet the whole upstairs!! But the walls look nice. JW did a great job! I was impressed. And thanks to EA who helped finish up. The girls V and HH slept in there last night. They wanted to be the first!! Remember how is was when you were a kid- you'd get so excited about stuff like that. Now I get excited if my yard has been freed of dog poop!

Did I ever say that I have the best parents in the whole world! They have been very supportive to me with this non-profit thing. Not to mention NUMEROUS other times in my life!! Lucky me!

So do you remember my crazy neighbor?? I have been having dreams about her a lot lately. Do I go and try to talk with her and figure out her madness or leave it alone? I know- leave it alone. There are just those moments that I would like to fill up a giant grocery bag of dog poop and put it on her front porch- on fire. But since both of my dogs have round worm she would be able to have the poop identified and I would be busted. Jailed for pooping. (Oh yeah- another thing Hurricane Katrina sent- round worm. Thanks for the dog- with round worm!! Only 2 visits each to Dr. W's office. Between my friend H and I we are paying for his retirement (or as she said yesterday his construction on his building!)

School today. Daddy daughter dance tonight then TTT's family (L,T and E) are coming to stay the night. It will be good to have them here. They are bringing their 2 dogs. 2 dogs + 2 dogs= 4 DOGS!! Just for the night. You know I never grew up with dogs. I do love them- as my puppy sits here and farts right in front of me. UGH!

Our friend HG is going to be here next weekend! How nice! We haven't seen her is quite awhile. It always feels like she should still be here. She belongs in T-Town.

Have a meeting with the Superintendent of T schools on Tuesday to discuss my non-profit stuff and then a big meeting in Lansing with all the Executives. I am also doing to presentations to parents groups in the next week or so. Things seem to be moving along. But where will we find the money to do this?!

Thursday, February 09, 2006

testing 1, 2, 3

Just trying to figure out where my comment section went...

Why am I so tired??

Do I have mono?? So this cold I just can't seem to kick. I have been going to bed at 9:00 or so and that is just not like me (unless we are watching a movie in bed then I almost always fall asleep). JW has a cold and V just has the sniffles. I need to Clorox our house.

So yesterday we took 3 of the 4 animals to the vet. What a site. Madchen (our almost 6 year old German Shepherd) walks in limping from hiking 20+miles the day before, our cat Alli (sexy fatty) in the cat crate and Raina (demon in cat form) in my arms. Then we had V who needed to go to school so JW had to leave and take her there and left me with all the animals in the waiting room. Boy was it interesting..

I have been working a lot on this non-profit stuff. Hopefully will have a meeting on 3-7-06 to get the board set up (did I already say this?). I have asked 2-3 of the Arc higher ups to come and be a part of the meeting.

School. I love my grant writing professor. He is such a hoot. Reminds me a lot of Santa Clause. We have a lot of work to do in that class- hopefully I'll learn tons!! Can you believe that I graduate in just a few months?! I thought it would never come.

Wedding. Should I start planning this out or not? I know- we are having it low key so I figure we don't have to panic right now. But am I lying to myself. This is not like me to not be right on top of all of this. But I know that it will work out in the end. I'll marry JW and that's all that counts- I don't need the bells and whistles. Just doves. :)

Tuesday, February 07, 2006

Tiny bit of hope...

So I had a meeting with a mom today who is really interested in The Arc of Lenawee County (the non-profit I am trying to start)! It made me feel good. She offered to give me money already but I told her she would have to wait until we have a bank account and an actual "incorporated agency". She was so wonderful and I hope to help her out. I am excited about all of this. Waiting on a few people to contact me regarding our first meeting so that is getting frustrating but not everyone is as anal as I am.

Veda is turning 5 soon. I think that we are going to have a birthday party at The British Tea Garden on 2-19. That was her due date. I am trying to decide about how to do this. Invite only a few or more. I like the idea of a few.

JW's finger is looking better- I think. Not sure but he thinks it does. He is feeling sick today and I am feeling better.

Other than that we are doing well. I have an individual session tonight at the shelter and some homework to do so I need to go and prepare.

Sunday, February 05, 2006

Lies Lies Lies Yah!!

So we pulled it off. I have been plotting and planning for well over a month now to help surprise one of my best friends for her 35th birthday. I lied so much to her. Please forgive me. But boy was it worth it to see her when she walked into the kitchen!! I loved it! And the funny thing is that this woman, H, pretty much knows all of what I/we/the town is doing. It use to be that if I didn't call her when I was going to the bathroom she would have a blank spot in my daily schedule and it would make her cringe. Ha! I had lots of fun and drank too much, especially for being sick.

That leads me to my next topic. My tonsils are continuing to grow. I swear they are going to fill up my airway so I can't breathe!! If they don't get better I am going to have to go and see someone. Maybe they'll blow up like hot air balloons and I could just open my mouth and fly around to places. That would be cool. As long as I could deflate them when I got to my destination.

I am going to go and re-clean my house again. And hopefully fit in a nap somewhere because I fell like hell.

Happy Birthday H!

Thursday, February 02, 2006

Sometimes Mom Duty SUCKS!

Ok so a lot of you know that I have put this one off WAY too long. You see Veda, my daughter, had a rabbit and this rabbit went to live with my friends HG and JG last fall. Well shortly after finding a new home in PA Sunflower was eaten by their dogs. Yes, I know, horrible. But the worst thing is that I didn't tell Veda- until tonight. It has been eating at me and tonight I just decided that I had to do it. There was not stopping me. It went ok for announcing the death of a child's pet. You see, this girl has had just too many deaths in her life and I wanted to spare her this one. I tried to soothe her pain with Mint Chocolate Chip ice cream- it worked for a few minutes. Now she is off to bed, hopefully not having nightmares. And no, I did not tell her that her bunny had been eaten as a treat. I thought that part was ok to keep to myself FOREVER!! So now all of you HH and HG can relax and you can tell your children that they no longer have to lie to Veda. Sorry but I just didn't have the guts until tonight.

My tonssils are the size of golf balls and they hurt. Is this normal? Wonder if my "Discount Medical Program" will pay to have them looked at. More than likely not. Anyone want to help me try the string and door knob trick??

My computer is possessed

Morning. Had a good workout this morning with some friends. Need to go on the Biggest Loser to get moving again. Can't seem to get that last 10-15 off!! Oh to be a woman!

Veda told me this morning that she only has 21 days until she turns 5! Where did the time go? I remember it like yesterday, the pulling and tugging at my wet house (uterus). Again, I want a baby. So Veda is again back on the "good list". There were a few days there that JW and I threw her out the back door with the dogs. She decided it was ok to sneak and lie to us. I think I already wrote about that. But she is doing well again.

JW is doing well. Though his eyes look pretty pink. Could it be the pink eye monster has not left our house yet? His finger is still full of MRSA but he is on a heavy duty antibiotic that should kick it. He was working on our extra room yesterday. Can we put a baby in there?? :)

I need to go get working on this non-profit thing today. I would love to have it up and running this summer.

Oh and about my computer being possessed- I wrote an entire entry earlier and it disappeared before I could post it. Crazy things are happening.